Lessons Learned and Goals Set

If there's one thing from the journal that is most important to immortalise on the internet, it's the pages where I detailed what I learned in 2018, and goals I'd set for 2019. They're the most important pages because I really don't want to forget what the highs and lows of 2018 taught me, nor do I want to lose sight of what I want to achieve. I can't forget what I've learned because then my experiences would have been for nothing, and I want to learn from them and move on. They may be long pretty personal in places, but I think we can all learn something from each other's lessons learned and goals set.

“Step out of the history that is holding you back. Step into the new story you are willing to create.” - Oprah Winfrey

WHAT WE LEARNED IN 2018

It's only embarrassing if you're embarrassed

I spent too much time focussing on what other people thought of me in 2018. I would sit and think for hours about something embarrassing I'd said or done, and I've realised that it was a colossal waste of time. When I really thought about it, I needn't be embarrassed to talk about something I love, or that I said something that someone else wouldn't say. So what if someone else thinks I'm silly, or would have done it differently? If I'm living my life how I want to live it, and aren't harming others, then where is the problem? If I myself am not embarrassed, because I'm owning my actions, then nothing I do can be "embarrassing". People are free to disagree, but I realised in 2018 that its totally wrong to label this with shame, and if I want to listen to One Direction as a fully grown adult then I'll be damned if I'm going to let someone else call it embarrassing. 

Stop chasing the wrong one, the right one won't run

I know the whole destiny/make your own destiny issue is rather controversial, but in 2018 I realised that I can't go running after things and people because its tiring and poor for my mental health.  There is always something blocking the things we want, and while I'm a firm believer in still working hard to get those, when it comes to relationships I've changed my stance. All too often, the thing that's been blocking my happily ever after has been that actually, the person wasn't right for me. In 2018 I chased after people for too long and gave too many chances, whereas I should have been assessing why I was having to fight. If its obstacles in my way, I'll still be fighting hard to get what I want, and if I assess and figure out that actually I'm not getting anywhere because of them or what they're, then its definitely not meant to be. 

Thank u, next - Ariana Grande

Cheesy, but true. I'm taking relationship inspiration from this lesson I learned late in 2018 when the song was released. I can no longer afford to spend so long with my heart and head stuck with the same people in the past; holding onto feelings and anger gets me nowhere and there's small lessons to be learned everywhere. I'm not giving up, its moving on. Onwards and upwards.

Asking for help is ok

A problem shared is a problem halved. After taking the plunge and asking for help more in 2018, I can't believe it hasn't always been a massive part of my life. Asking for advice can sometimes provide a whole new point of view I hadn't thought of, even in my deep spirals in overthinking, and sometimes it takes asking for help to realise how much overthinking I was doing. I'm grateful I'm going into 2019 with the knowledge that its good to ask for help, as the weight isn't always on my shoulders alone.

Well behaved women rarely make history

This well-known quotes came to life for me in 2018. I have always been a stickler for the rules, almost to fault, and this has sometimes meant I have missed out on some of the joys my carefree friends have enjoyed in life. I've realised this year that sometimes it is ok to rebel, even if its only against the rules I set myself; I'm not going to get a prize for good behaviour. This has also applied to my personal views, I have all too often in the past kept some thoughts to myself to avoid confrontation. Whilst of course this is sometimes appropriate, I also realised that if Bob at the party gets upset at for pointing out politely that what he said was a little bit sexist then I don't really want to be Bob's friend - we're never going to overthrow the patriarchy by keeping our mouths shut.

GOALS FOR 2019

 Say yes to more things

As my friend always says, "better an oh well than a what if". From now on, I'd rather know something from experience than always wonder. I would like to agree to do more things that scare me or are out of my comfort zone; even if it goes wrong I'm sure I'll have some personal growth. I could make some pretty good memories in the mean time.

Don't feel like you have to say yes to everything

Similar to the last one, but oh so very different. Too often I catch myself doing things I don't actually want to do. Of course, sometimes this is to be kind to someone else, and this is fine, but I don't need to be putting myself out for people all the time, especially when I know it is unreciprocated, and I shouldn't be spreading myself thin to help everyone else. They will not like me more or less because I do things for them, or do the things that they want to do all of the time, and if they do then they're clearly not very good friends. So I've decided that "no that's not for me", "no I'm doing this instead" and "no I haven't got time" will be making an appearance in my vocabulary this year.

Be more open about my feelings

I've sort of already started this one; my new journal and entire blog will be devoted to my thoughts and feelings. Although, I'm not sure this really counts and it might be cheating, so I'm going to be less afraid to tell others what I'm feeling and bottling up will be a thing of the past. I hope. (I'm documenting now that this scares me and I doubt I can do it, but even this is a good start.)

Look after my skin

I'm only going to get one face. I need to stop caking it in makeup and then sleeping in it. All of the products have been bought and I'm on a mission.

Knit

Odd one, but bear with me. My baby niece is due in May and I'm determined to be able to wrap her up in a handmade blanket and basically just sniff her for hours (there's nothing better than baby smell, if you know you know). The problem is I can't really knit. But watch this space.

I have no idea if I'll actually manage to keep to my goals, but I'm excited to see in a years time if I made any progress. Anything above ignoring them all and all of my responsibilities and going to the beach or devouring a book will be a pretty positive outcome to be honest.

B x